Why I shall not be on deck tomorrow

By Ben Stinchcombe

The other day, our yacht was ensnared in a tree. So being of a responsible nature, I rushed to free our good ship. Whereupon I found that the gaff was caught in a branch. So I proceeded to lower it.

Whereupon I found that the branch and gaff were heavier than me.... I somewhat lost my presence of mind as I was whisked from my feet into the air, I held onto the halliard. About half way up... I met the branch and gaff... coming down.. continuing on in a dazed fashion I reached the block and stopped, suddenly.

This dislodged the branch. I was now heavier than the gaff... at which I started down... around half way down... I met the gaff.. coming up.. continuing on in a dazed fashion down I hit the ground, hard.

Whereupon I again lost my presence of mind, and let go of the rope... the gaff.. now heavier than the rope, started down... thankfully the injuries were limited, but that, is why I won't be on deck tomorrow morning.